Saturday, November 10, 2007

Veterans Day 2007

Veterans Day 2007

John Andrew Quinlan

(Reflections from his mom)

One of the very last conversations John and I engaged in had to do with a bill that sat on Gov. Corzine’s desk. This was a small bill embedded inside a greater piece of political nonsense. John was rather hot to trot about this small bill aimed at dropping the mandatory teaching of Veterans Day, Memorial Day, and Columbus Day in the public schools. Both of us fired letters off to Corzine expressing our strong feelings about this. John left for Afghanistan and my last letter to him was to let him know the bill did not pass! I am not sure he read the news before he went down.

On this Veterans Day pause for a few minutes to remember all who have served. We who knew John also knew and still know the tremendous commitment he and all military have made and continue to make enabling us to live in peace and safety each day. Pass the message to your children so they will not become complacent as they grow older.

Veterans Day was always the special day I would either call or email John to thank him and let him know how much I loved him. (This was not the only day!!!)

This year I cannot call him, however I do find myself reflecting on all the good he brought to the world both in his life and in his death. Although we are still working through tremendous feelings of loss we have also been overwhelmed by all the good that has returned to us as a result of his huge circle of life and kindness. He now has two little babies who were given the names Andrew John and Paul Andrew in his memory. His old buddies call and keep in touch. Each week a new kindness is returned to us in his memory.

Above all, John left us the gift of his beautiful girls, Julie, Keely, Maddie, and Erin. All are his bright lights in the world and we love them dearly.

Each night I go outside for a few minutes and look up at the sky always imagining the beauty of the night stars and the sunrises John saw on his many flights. Looking up, I reflect on his short lived yet beautiful life and these lines…..

In one of the stars
I shall be living
In one of them
I shall be laughing
And so it will be
as if all the stars
were laughing
when you look
at the sky at night

The Little Prince ~ Antoine de Saint- Exupery

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Eulogy for a Veteran

John's uncle, John Mocko, asked that this be posted:

"One day, the sky he loved so well, parted, and God reached out and took him by the hand."

"Do not stand at my grave and weep,
I am not there, I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there, I did not die.
I am not here,
Search your heart,
I am there."

- Author unknown

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Words on August 18, 2007 about John’s death

It has been a long time and in ways it has been a short time since your death six months ago. Your extended family prays for you (and all of us) all the time. People say that “Time heals all wounds.” But I would say time renews all wounds. We will never forget our wounds, but we have learned how to live with them each day.

Your family misses you. We all miss you. You were a shining light that will not go out. The sound of your laugh, light of your smile and presence will be in our thoughts forever. We expect to see you come through the door every day and wish we could give you one last hug or say goodbye for one last time. This will not happen but we still continue to expect it to happen.

Yours was a relatively short life in years but a long life in accomplishments. A husband and father to three children, a grandson, a son, a brother, an uncle, a brother-in-law and a cousin are part of your legacy. All roles you filled in an outstanding personal manner.

Your services to your country (8 years in the US Marine Corps, 10 years in the US Army) all speak to your valor and dedication. Twenty-seven service medals for efforts above and beyond the call of duty received in five wars cannot be underestimated. Few servicemen have duplicated or exceeded this effort. What your future accomplishment could have been is only for you and God to know.

Last week a Chinook helicopter crashed in Iraq killing five US soldiers. We prayed for them and their families as we have prayed for you and your comrades. All the deaths and wounded in this war on terror are on our minds. We want the war to stop and the killing to be over. This will not happen. This also we have to live with and try to understand.

Pray for us John, to know what to do and how to do it. We will live our lives with you as a primary example. Always saying to ourselves, “What would John do in this situation, how would he react, when would he influence the situation?” We will hope to live our lives as a dedication to your commitments, actions and accomplishments.

Your presence will always be felt in our lives. The commitments we have made to support your family will always be honored. Our best example for our lives will be to honor you as our family hero and the man you became from the son your mother and I had. We have seen you grow to tremendous heights and want to remember all the things you have accomplished. We only wish you could have lived to see your daughters graduate, walk them down the aisle when they marry and play with your grandchildren. It will be our legacy to ensure your presence will be felt at family functions and remembered at the family dinner table.

Love, Dad and Mom

Saturday, August 18, 2007

Letter from Susan

John's sister, Susan, asked me to post this letter:


John,

I can't believe it has been 6 months today since you died. Some days I still can't believe it, I wake up every day and have to remind myself that it is real. I miss you, I think of you all the time, I wonder what you would think of things, you always were so black & white with your thoughts, never lacking on opinion that is for sure.

I wonder if you can see the sad things that I see, like the flagpole in Mom & Dad's front yard with the Gold Star flag & Dad going out there every morning & putting it up, your wedding ring hanging from Julie's neck, the pile of Chinook coins & pins in Olivia's room under your picture & the gathering of seashells on your headstone at Arlington with all our names on them.

I also wonder if you can see the happy & funny things too, when I took Keely to New York City & her face when she walked thru Times Square, when Madeline told me she would like to have Dad's 57 Chevy & told me in detail what she would like to do to it, sounded like you two have had that conversation before. When I told Erin that my baby blanket was yours & she smelled it & said she could smell you in there. She will not believe I am your sister... she thinks I am her sister!

Well, I have to tell you that you would be really proud of all of us, Julie is a rock and she carries on as you would have wanted her to, although I can't imagine the pain she carries. The girls are doing great, they are beautiful and full of craziness, truly Quinlans, which I love. Mom and Dad are being strong and they keep every piece of information on you in beautiful books so the girls will have it one day. I feel closer to all of them than ever and we have all grown together to pull ourselves through this.

You are missing so much and there is no way to justify that. There will always be an empty seat at our table. Julie, Mom, Dad & me are your memory keepers, through our stories of you our family will remember, Keely, Madeline, Erin, Olivia & Will will know you. Someone sent me a quote & it said "To live in the hearts of those you love is to never die" and that is why you will never be truly gone.

We are planning to take the kids skiing over Christmas this year, just as you always wanted to. I hope you are smiling on us as we make fools of ourselves all over that mountain.

I love you,

Susan

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Words of Thanks

JOHN’S EDITORIAL LETTER - April 8, 2007

How to begin? Our son, CW3 John A. Quinlan, was killed in Afghanistan on February 18, 2007. His helicopter crashed while he was returning Army Rangers from a covert mission in Afghanistan. John was the Pilot-in-Command. Seven soldiers plus John were killed. Fourteen soldiers survived.

We, his parents, are overwhelmed by the support and comfort we have received within our family, the military and civilians in our country. Several hundred letters have been delivered to John’s wife, Julie, our daughter Susan and ourselves. Many included generous donations to John’s children’s education fund.

We want to thank the people who have provided direct support in honoring John. It is very important to us for others to know the tremendous generosity and commitment that exists within our community and country.

Please note that the following list is not an indication of a ranking of an individual’s or organization’s support, but a sincere hope to acknowledge each effort that contributed to honoring John.

The Priest, Father William J. Lago, and Deacon, Mr. Robert Armstrong, offered the memorial Mass on March 11, 2007. Father Bill’s sermon describing John’s attributes was moving and allowed our family to accept and further understand John’s passing. The altar servers performed with kind reverence. Our nephew, Sean Quinlan, carried the cross.

The town of Bradley Beach performed with outstanding grace. Our family received assistance from the Administrative office (Phyllis Quixley) and the Fire (John Zech) and Police (Chief Leonard Guida) Departments. The Fire Department hall was provided for the reception following Mass and the police provided an honor guard at the Mass. The police also provided front door and handicapped parking for the immediate family. We feel honored by your care.

The beautiful singing at the Mass was provided by our niece Barbara Quinlan, a family friend, William Rutledge Varley, and Suzanne Ramsey-Restivo. Taps was played by Karl Cruvup, a friend of Kate’s from Asbury Park Middle School. The organist was Andrew DePrisco. One other individual who was instrumental in forming the liturgy and program for the memorial Mass was Gerry Varley. Many thanks to all of you.

Delicious and plentiful food at the reception was provided by Piancone Restaurant (Rick Piancone) of Bradley Beach in coordination with the town of Bradley Beach. Beautiful table linens were provided by Acme Sanitation Supply of Neptune, NJ. Bradley Fire Department also provided clean up services after the reception. Bradley Liquors provided the beer keg and wine served at the reception. Our family is grateful for your generosity.

The Avon Police Department (Chief Terry Mahon) provided church parking for the family and handicapped members of the family. They also allowed three volleys to be fired in John’s honor at the conclusion of the Mass. Thank you.

The Bagpiper at the Mass and reception was Bob Pfarr. His songs were special and significant in helping to memorialize John’s Irish roots.

A Color and Rifle Guard provided by the American Legion Post No 232 in Barnegat, NJ. Bob and Lillian Padavano of Waretown, NJ made this possible. Thanks to all for this military memorial.

The presence of John’s Battalion Commander (Lt. Col John Evans) from Fort Campbell, KY at the Mass was appreciated along with his remarks about John during the reception. It was nice to hear that John was one his best pilots, and a good friend.

John’s US Marines buddies in attendance at his burial were a source of comfort to our family. “Semper Fi, Marines”.

Our nephew Roger Quinlan Jr. provided the Irish music and sound system at the reception. His and Steven Mocko’s support for me during the Mass eulogy was heart-warming and a true measure of the family’s unity during this event.

Our nephews, David and J.J. Mocko, provided John’s blog (www.johnquinlan.blogspot.com) listing pictures, newspaper articles, TV spots and individual comments. This is a significant source of comfort to our family.

An individual, who is a friend of John’s from Maryland (Brandy Edwards), played a large role in publicizing John’s accident on Maryland TV and in the newspapers. This resulted in significant attendance at John’s burial from his friends in the Baltimore area. We were comforted to greet these friends, some of whom we had not seen in over 20 years.

A very significant honor was provided to our family when we ordered a 20-foot flag pole for John from Kempton Flag of Wall, NJ. The flagpole was installed at our home on March 31, 2007. Upon completion, the flagpole, a U.S. Flag and a U.S. Army Flag were presented to us as gifts in memory of John. We are moved and grateful. Thank you.

Two veteran’s organizations (The Catholic War Veterans of Asbury Park, NJ and the Veterans of Foreign Wars Post 232 of Neptune, NJ) presented in ceremony Gold Star flags to Kate and me. We are extremely grateful for this honor.

We would also like to thank our extended family for their assistance during this time of grieving. Many nieces and nephews read during the Mass. John and Linda Mocko (my sister) were outstanding in providing display materials, pictures, scrapbook presentations and emotional support.

Fort Monmouth provided outstanding support in the work of the Henry Kearney, Chief, Public Affairs and Major Tom Watiti as the Causality Assistance Officer. They both significantly helped in the administrative and editorial processing during the Memorial, Burial, and Mass.

Taking care of tailoring and pressing my U.S. Army uniform (purchased in 1964 and last worn in 1982) was EZ tailors in Shrewsbury, NJ.

Pictures of John’s burial taken at the Arlington National Cemetery were taken by Michael and Beverly Miller of Avon, NJ. Their picture of John’s coffin under the U.S. Flag was used in our thank you card. They also presented us with an enlarged framed copy of that picture.

Kate’s friend Wanda Smith from Asbury Park Middle School wrote and read at the reception a poem dedicated to John. She also provided us framed copies. We thank her for this special effort.

A video of the Memorial Mass was taken by Erick Gunter. We thank him for this effort.

People continue to surprise us with acts of kindness. Our neighbors (Vincent and Jody Fama and their son Vincent) went to Arlington National cemetery for John’s burial and provided exceptional emotional support to us during the burial and memorial Mass. We are extremely thankful for their efforts. Many neighbors provided delicious food and comfort for us along with visits to our home.

Kate and I hope we have included all those whose effort contributed to honor John. If we missed anyone, please accept our sincere thanks for your efforts. We are extremely grateful to all of you.

Robert J. Quinlan

Kathleen T. Quinlan