We Are All Grieving For Our Soldier

(The following words were spoken by John’s father to the VFW Post 2179 “Gold Star Families” Luncheon in Port Monmouth, NJ on September 21, 2008)

How we grieve is an extremely complex and personal matter. We live on in spite of the grieving and the internal pressures we experience. One of the reasons we live on is to insure others will know and remember about the soldier we are grieving.

Your soldier will never be forgotten.

We, the survivors, are left with the problem of comparing our soldier’s contribution to the success and continuation of our country. This is extremely difficult for us because the “war” has become personal. It’s not just the soldiers killed and wounded, but the toll it has taken on ourselves, our extended family and friends.

We did not wish to become “Gold Star Families”. It was thrust upon us as circumstance allowed dire things to happen. We reluctantly accept this “honor” with the courage to continue on in spite of the problems we have continuously faced and the unknown problems will face in the future.

We all want our children and grandchildren to have successful lives. We are at a loss to understand when a soldier dies that it may not be recognized as a success. Yet when wars are “successfully” completed, the country recognizes each soldier’s ultimate contribution.

Grieving never stops but it does take different forms with the passing of time. Sometimes we may understand why this happened and other times we are total perplexed as to “why us”. Please understand I am not trying to having you understand what happened. This may never happen. But I am trying to have you find a place for you to live with this tragic event.

May God bless your soldier, you, your family and friends, and the United States of America.

Who Is A Hero?

(The following words were spoken by John's father at Seabrook Village in Tinton Falls, NJ on September 12, 2008 at a memorial service for 9/11 victims and those killed in Iraq and Afghanistan)

Our son has been described to us as a hero. He died for our country in a foreign war on terror and was a professional warrior.

Last year, at a tree and plaque dedication ceremony at Bradley Beach School, I asked the students what was a hero. The answers varied, but all pointed toward someone who did something great. Today, I offer my definition as someone who accomplishes a task without being asked. Someone who saw a requirement, figured out what can be done, and went ahead and accomplished the task. John did that and more.

We all can be heroes to others. We need to take the time, observed what is happening around us, list our options, select a course of action, and, of course, accomplish the task. This is a means for us to grow, mature, and have wisdom on your side. I am sure you have identified people with these characteristics. You want to develop these characteristics for yourself in order to be a hero.

Thank you for inviting me to speak today. I hope all of you will become a hero to your family, friends, and co-workers.

God bless you John, and God bless America.

Memorial Day 2008

Susan, John's sister, asked for this to be posted:

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This Memorial Day we think of you and all who have served. We remember and will never forget.

I saw 2 quotes that I thought were profound on my last visit to Arlington.

"When you get home tell them of us and say... for their tomorrows, we gave our today" - Kohima Epitaph

and this one that so reminded me of you, I laughed...

"It is better to have lived one day as a lion then one thousand days as a sheep"
Lt Col. Klinger, buried at Arlington.

John - we miss you, this really doesn't get an easier, I thought maybe it would. When I think about what happened to you my stomach still does a flip, guess it always will.

I still think of you every day, every hour, every minute.

You were a bad ass & I love you,

Susan
Nightstalkers Don't Quit!

Thoughts on John - One Year Anniversary

A party to celebrate John's life was held on Sun Mar 16th at Vic's in Bradley Beach, following a Mass at St. Elizabeth's. John's father, Robert Quinlan, said these words:

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It’s been a fast tough year. John has been missed by all his family and friends.

In life, John wanted to succeed at all his endeavours. His quest for success in the military put him on a fast and dangerous track. He understood the dangers but wanted to challenge himself and his fellow soldiers to accomplish difficult missions. This he did this for five wars over 18 years. His last mission was his most difficult one.

John joined the military because it had numerous challenging options. He initially chose the Marines and aircraft avionics as his first military profession. He excelled in this field and was the go-to-guy for his contemporaries. He then was a Loadmaster in the Marines for C130 cargo aircraft. This I think gave him the interest in becoming a pilot.

John wanted to serve our country and have a wonderful family. He accomplished both. Julie surprised Kate and I by being here today. His daughters could not be here today as they are in Tennessee. Kate, Sue, Olivia, and I visited Julie, Keely, Maddie, and Erin in February. Overall, they are doing very well and wish to thank all of you who have kept them and us in your thoughts and prayers during this difficult period.

John’s devotion to his own family and extended family and friends has been brought to our attention numerous times through words, letters, emails and pictures. We –his family- have had the distinct honor to learn of John’s deeds and accomplishments well beyond our initial understanding. John would not have shared with us most of these deeds and accomplishments or put a humorous spin on them. He did not want us to worry and he wanted to create the feeling in us that he could handle any situation. We know he did his very best on his last mission.

John was a Senior Pilot and had over 1800 hours of flying time and almost half of that was in combat. John became a helicopter pilot because he wanted to sit in the front seat. He was in charge of the aircraft and responsible for his crew and passengers. John was scheduled last year become a Master Pilot and Flight Leader. Both positions would have put him in the top U.S. Army pilot positions.

I hope you all understand a little more about John. We, as his family, are extremely proud of him and his many accomplishments. As his parents, we could not have asked for a better son. The pride he had for Julie, Keely, Maddie, and Erin was infectious. His sister Susan and her family will miss him forever. John’s death was a difficult loss to all of us.

John left us with many memories. Those memories will keep him alive in all of us. His sense of humor and story telling will allow us to continuously smile when thinking about him.

We wish John well as God’s Co-pilot.

I would like to ask Roger to play “Arlington” as a tribute to John.

One Year Today

Today marks one year since John's death. There will be a ceremony at Fort Campbell today for all those killed in the crash. John's parents and sister will be there with Julie and the girls. Please share your thoughts and prayers.