Monday, September 22, 2008

We Are All Grieving For Our Soldier

(The following words were spoken by John’s father to the VFW Post 2179 “Gold Star Families” Luncheon in Port Monmouth, NJ on September 21, 2008)

How we grieve is an extremely complex and personal matter. We live on in spite of the grieving and the internal pressures we experience. One of the reasons we live on is to insure others will know and remember about the soldier we are grieving.

Your soldier will never be forgotten.

We, the survivors, are left with the problem of comparing our soldier’s contribution to the success and continuation of our country. This is extremely difficult for us because the “war” has become personal. It’s not just the soldiers killed and wounded, but the toll it has taken on ourselves, our extended family and friends.

We did not wish to become “Gold Star Families”. It was thrust upon us as circumstance allowed dire things to happen. We reluctantly accept this “honor” with the courage to continue on in spite of the problems we have continuously faced and the unknown problems will face in the future.

We all want our children and grandchildren to have successful lives. We are at a loss to understand when a soldier dies that it may not be recognized as a success. Yet when wars are “successfully” completed, the country recognizes each soldier’s ultimate contribution.

Grieving never stops but it does take different forms with the passing of time. Sometimes we may understand why this happened and other times we are total perplexed as to “why us”. Please understand I am not trying to having you understand what happened. This may never happen. But I am trying to have you find a place for you to live with this tragic event.

May God bless your soldier, you, your family and friends, and the United States of America.

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